News / Not News
Here at Gullible Lives Matter, we value life. Every life. Even the lives of the gullible. That is why we present you with our newest feature: NEWS / NOT NEWS. This board will help you, the reader, determine whether you’re keeping updated with actual news events that impact the world and the lives of those around you, or just some schlock about some self-absorbed undeservedly wealthy asshats.
Tropical Cyclone Destroys Lives in Fiji / Jennifer Lawrence Shops
A man searches through the remains of a house after Tropical Cyclone Winston in Fiji: photo credit CNN
Schools will remain closed for the week, and are temporarily providing shelter to the many who were left homeless.
Wreckage of Tropical Cyclone Winston in Fiji: photo credit CNN
All over Fiji, especially on the smaller islands, survivors are without shelter, food, or clean water.
Ravages of Tropical Cyclone Winston in Fiji: photo credit CNN
Who gives a fuck?
Australian Police uncover Meth Shipment in Bras / Former Reality Star Changes Look
Liquid Crystal Meth found in Bra Inserts by Australian Law Enforcement – photo credit Getty via CBS News
A joint task force between Australian Feds and Chinese Narcotics uncovered 190 gallons of liquid crystal meth in a shipment of bra inserts and art supplies from Hong Kong.
The liquid could have produced 1,100 pounds of crystal methamphetamine, known in Australia as ‘ice,’ worth 1.26 billion Australian dollars ($900 million USD).
Nobody gives a fuck what Jahmene Douglas’s face looks like – photo credit The Mirror
X-Factor fans are shocked that Jahmene Douglas looks different now than he did a couple of years ago.
Do you know who this guy is? Do you give any fucks about his Instagram selfies and whether or not he got plastic surgery? If you answered “No” to these questions, congratulation. You know not-news when you see it. Now go find something better to do than stalk self-engrossed semi-famous blokes online.
6.4 Magnitude Earthquake in Taiwan / Blac Chyna Displays Boobies
NEWS:
A 6.4 magnitude earthquake struck the city of Tainan in Taiwan on Saturday morning, collapsing an apartment building.
Rescuers amid the rubble of a building collapsed by the Taiwan earthquake – Photo credit Global News
Hundreds were rescued but at least 14 died and many were still missing when this was first reported. To read more on Global News, click HERE.
Here’s a heartwarming photo of a little dog being rescued from earthquake rubble in Taiwan in case you prefer your news with a touch of cute. You can see the whole video of this daring dog rescue on Global.
NOT NEWS:
Someone with the dubious name of Blac Chyna took off her shirt for a photo. Anyone who gives a fuck already knows this because they follow Blac Chyna’s twitter account. In case you weren’t sure, this is not news. Don’t bother clicking anywhere to find out more.
Blac Chyna without a shirt – this is not news – Photo credit: fameflynet pictures