News / Not News

Here at Gullible Lives Matter, we value life. Every life. Even the lives of the gullible. That is why we present you with our newest feature: NEWS / NOT NEWS. This board will help you, the reader, determine whether you’re keeping updated with actual news events that impact the world and the lives of those around you, or just some schlock about some self-absorbed undeservedly wealthy asshats.

Dozens Killed in Aleppo Bombings after Ceasefire / Brad Shouts Angrily at Angelina after Break Up

Posted by on 9:35 am in News / Not News | 1,014 comments

A child is pulled from the rubble of recent warplane bombings in Aleppo, Syria. Source: Reuters

A child is pulled from the rubble of recent warplane bombings in Aleppo, Syria. Source: Reuters

Government and Russian/Iranian-backed warplanes have been bombing Syrian capital Aleppo since Friday, after a week-long ceasefire, killing at least 91, including innocent civilians and children. At least 40 buildings were destroyed in the bombing, which head of Civil Defense Ammar al Selmo called “annihilation in every sense of the word,” according to Reuters. Read more about this in Reuters here

Brad and Angelina in happier times. Source: the entire internet

Brad and Angelina in happier times. Source: the entire internet

Brad and Angelina got divorced, and recently, if you can believe it, Brad got so angry that he actually shouted at his ex-wife in public. Some brave fan managed to get close enough to capture cell-phone footage of Brad shouting angrily. If you care enough about other people’s private lives that you feel the urge to find out more, go ahead and Google it, because Brad and Angelina’s relationship is hot news right now and I’m sure you’ll find enough results to keep you busy for ages, nosy.

Suicide Bomber at Turkish Wedding Kills 50 / Rooney Mara Wears Leather and Denim

Posted by on 9:43 am in News / Not News | 100 comments

wedding bombed in Turkey

A man mourns the victim of a wedding bombing in Turkey. Photo credit: CNN

A wedding in Gaziantep, Turkey was the target of a suicide bombing that killed 53, including at least 22 children. The bomber, probably from ISIS, was believed to have been 12 to 14 years old. Gaziantep is near the Syrian border. According to Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan, “Daesh is trying to position and organize itself in Gaziantep.” Read more about this horrific attack on CNN by clicking here

rooney mara can nearly dress herself

Rooney Mara can nearly dress herself – Photo credit: some asshat with an iPhone and too much spare time

Breaking news: Rooney Mara wore a denim shirt and leather motorcycle jacket to walk her dog in Beverly Hills. It’s important to note that Rooney cannot in fact dress herself. It seems that she has a stylist by the name of Ryan Hastings to pick out these ensembles for her. Her dog must be grateful that his master dresses so stylishly to take him out for a poo.

The UK Votes to Leave the European Union / The Kardashians have a Pillow Fight

Posted by on 6:21 pm in News / Not News | 266 comments

brexit two flags reuters

The Union Jack and the flag of the European Union fly together, perhaps for the last time… photo credit: Reuters

A referendum allowing UK citizens to vote on whether or not to leave the EU was held on Thursday, June 23, 2016. The “leave” side won by 52 to 48. Scotland and Northern Ireland both had higher showings from the ‘stay’ side, but both countries are part of the UK so the overall vote affects them. The European Union is an economic and political partnership with 28 countries taking part. It allows members to use a common currency (the Euro) and citizens to move through the member countries easily. The EU has its own parliament and its rules affect all members. The UK now has two years to negotiate its withdrawal. You can learn more about Brexit by reading “The UK’s EU referendum: All you need to know” on the BBC here

kardashians pillow fight

Two matching Kardashians smile as they hit each other with soft fluffy pillows. Photo credit – well, it’s off a Khloe’s instagram, but she’s in the photo, so it’s actually a big mystery who took it.

Khloe and Kourtney had a pillow fight and it was so awesome, they posted photos on Instagram! They both wore the same pajamas, maybe because they wanted to show solidarity or that they’re in the same family. Even though they’re fighting, you can tell they actually like each other by their happy smiles. You can bet that the 48% of UK citizens who actually like being part of an economic and political union are not smiling. As usual, if you want to know more about these two idiots, google it yourself.

Pakistan Honor Killings on the Rise / Royal Family Members Wear Pretty Clothes

Posted by on 12:39 pm in News / Not News | 25 comments

pakistan honor killings women

Some families believe that it is their responsibility to choose their daughter’s husband. Photo credit: RT

Muqaddas Bibi, 22, was murdered by her family on Tuesday in Buttaranwali village because she had married for love instead of accepting a marriage arranged by her family. Bibi was seven months pregnant with her second child at the time of her murder. Last week, a sixteen-year-old girl who married for love was killed by her family and a young married couple in Lahore were killed by their families. Some Pakistanis believe that it is the family’s responsibility to choose whom their children marry, and that a child marrying for love dishonors the family. Pakistan’s Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has vowed to stop these honor killings, but Pakistan is still waiting for legislation. To learn more about honor killings in Pakistan, click here

queen and prince wearing pretty clothes

Is it Christmas in June? Because that’s a lot of red and green! Photo credit: something about what other people like to wear.

Kate Middleton wore a white coat and a peach hat to the queen of England’s birthday party. Not only that, but Queen Elizabeth II wore a lime green coat and matching lime green hat! If that wasn’t enough non-news for you, you’ll be amazed to find out what Prince William wore to the queen’s birthday party: it was a tall bearskin hat and ceremonial scarlet Colonel of the Irish Guards uniform! I guess it is nice to be able to celebrate your rights to make your own choices, whether it is which designer to throw thousands of pounds at every time you have an event to attend, or whom you may marry. To find out more about the fascinating subject of what the royal family wore last week, go ahead and choose your favorite search engine.


Eggs Cost $150 a Dozen in Venezuela / Kanye West Lost Some Stuff

Posted by on 8:30 pm in News / Not News | 233 comments

Venezuelans lined up for food

Venezuelans line up to buy food: Photo credit – Los Angeles Times.

Venezuela is in the midst of a financial crisis that has been getting worse for years. According to the official exchange rate, it costs $150 to buy a dozen eggs at a street market. There are two supermarket chains with the prices regulated so people can afford to buy food, but it takes all day to do your shopping because the line-ups are so long. To understand more about the inflation and rising costs in Venezuela, read this article in the LA Times.


Kanye West, presumably talking to his personal shopper telling him how many Alienwares to buy. Photo credit – I don’t remember.

Somebody broke into Kanye West’s studio and stole some stuff worth $20,000. Don’t panic, though – it was just some computers, and they have heavy security so the robbers won’t be able to hack Kanye’s Netflix account and rack up a big bill, and plus Kanye already replaced all the shit he lost because Kanye is so loaded, he would have no problem paying current Venezuelan prices for eggs.

International Leaders Disrespect Donald Trump / Justin Bieber has a Tattoo

Posted by on 6:33 pm in News / Not News | 178 comments

anne hildago thinks donald trump is stupid

anne hildago thinks donald trump is stupid – photo credit NBC News video

Paris mayor Anne Hildago has joined the long list of international politicians who have something bad to say about the Donald with the comment, “Mr. Trump is just stupid, my God.” Other major world leaders who have noticed that Donald Trump is stupid include (but is not limited to) London’s new Muslim mayor, Sadiq Khan, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, former Mexican presidents Felipe Calderon and Vicente Fox, and Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau, who has banned Trump from entering Canada for being a racist jerk. To watch NBC’s video of the Paris mayor badmouthing Trump, click here.


Breaking non-news: Justin BIEBER has a TATTOO on his FACE – photo credit: Bieber’s BFF’s Instagram

Just when you thought Canada’s golden boy couldn’t get any douchier, Justin Bieber and his BFF got matching tats, and get this, on their faces! Didn’t anyone tell the Beeb that no-one will ever hire him with ink on his face? For more info on this breaking non-news, go ahead and Google “Bieber Face Tattoo” or whatever.

Massive Fire Rages in Alberta / Khloe Kardashian has Braids

Posted by on 11:19 am in News / Not News | 0 comments


Burnt-out cars in Fort McMurray, Alberta – Photo Credit BBC News

A 1000-square-kilometer (386-square-mile) fire in Fort McMurray has destroyed over 1,600 structures and forced the evacuation of over 88,000 people. Alberta’s manager of wildfire prevention, Chad Morrison, says the fire could double in size today. The fire has destroyed an area as big as Calgary, Alberta’s largest city. To find out more about the fire, read about it in Canada’s newspaper, The Globe and Mail.

khloe kardashian and north west in matching hairstyles

khloe kardashian and north west in matching hairstyles – photo cred who gives a fuck?

Khloe Kardashian posted a picture on Istagram of herself and her niece, the brilliantly-named North West, wearing matching braids and she used a black-and-white filter. If you actually think how Khloe does her hair matters in any part of the universe, please follow her Instagram because this is a serious news site and I’m not going to put bullshit links all over the place for retards like you to follow.

Ecuador Earthquake Death Toll Rises / Kylee Jenner Dresses Self and Eats

Posted by on 12:14 pm in News / Not News | 259 comments

ecuador-quake photo cred reuters

Damaged building in wake of Ecuador earthquake — Photo cred: Reuters

The death toll from Ecuador’s massive earthquake last week has risen to 654 people. The quake registered 7.8 magnitude and left at least 16,600 people injured. Ecuador’s president Rafael Correa, who cut short a trip and returned home immediately after the quake, estimates the country-wide damage at $2 to 3 billion. Close to 7,000 buildings were destroyed and about 25,000 people are currently living in shelters. For the latest updates on the quake, visit CBC News

Some idiot went so far as to make a video from photos they stalked off Kylee's instagram. photo cred - who gives a fuck

Some idiot went so far as to make a video from photos they stalked off Kylee’s instagram. photo cred – who gives a fuck

Today’s utterly unfascinating bottom story is that Kylee Jenner wore a Louis Vuitton swim suit the other day! Not only that, but she ate an Egg McMuffin and changed her hair style! That’s right, non-news fans, Kylee is still doing absolutely nothing of interest or value, but for whatever reason, celebrity news outlets insist on sharing the dull monotony of her life with you anyway. If you give any fucks about what Kylee Jenner is eating or wearing, stalk her instagram because I’m not going to bother adding links here. Gullible Lives Matter is a serious news site.

Rash of Bombings in Turkey Claim Lives / Kylie Jenner Hangs out with Friends

Posted by on 5:46 pm in News / Not News | 575 comments

Five people were killed and at least 36 injured in an explosion in central Istanbul today (19 March, 2016).

Suicide bomber claims more victims in Turkey. Photo credit: AlJazeera

Suicide bomber claims more victims in Turkey. Photo credit: AlJazeera

Turkey is still reeling from two separate car bomb explosions recently in its capital, Ankara.

Turkey is being targeted because they are fighting against ISIS as well as other terrorist groups.

You can read more details about the Istanbul bombing on AlJazeera here, and the most recent Ankara bombing, which killed at least 32, here on PBS Newshour.

Kylie Jenner checking the news on her smart phone. Photo credit - JustJared

Kylie Jenner checking the news on her smart phone. Photo credit – JustJared

In non-news today, the internet is not abuzz with Kylie Jenner’s latest insight to the state of her purple hair:

According to JustJared, Kylie brilliantly has these words to share with her hair fans: “You’re just such an a****** because, like, the top of my hair is, like, kind of destroyed from my bleach, so I’m really, like, self-conscious about it.”

From the look of intense concentration on Kylie’s face, we can assume that she is reading about important world events. Or maybe her make-up solidified, freezing her face in that position.

If you give any fucks about Kylie Jenner’s hair, you can Google it because I don’t have a link for you, and I want you to know that you really suck.

Thousands of Refugees Wait in Muddy Camps / The Duke of Cambridge Goes Skiing

Posted by on 3:10 pm in News / Not News | 78 comments

Refugees washing a newborn baby with a bottle of water. Photo credit - Getty Images

IDOMENI, GREECE – MARCH 6: Refugees wash a new born baby as they stay in tents that they set up in the Idomeni town in Greece, near the Macedonian border on March 6, 2016. (Photo by Iker Pastor/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

The refugee camp in Idomeni, on the border of Greece and Macedonia, is filled with families living in squalor as they wait for Macedonia to reopen its borders.

Thousands of people left everything behind and escaped the dangers of war on their front steps, hoping to build better lives for themselves and their children in Macedonia, which has subsequently tightened its border restrictions.

This three-or-four-day-old newborn baby who was likely born in the tent has nothing, not even warm water to bathe in.

With weather conditions making the camp increasingly colder and muddier, Greek authorities are trying to persuade people to leave and move further into Europe.

Click here to see more photos of life in the Idomeni camp on Huffington Post.

Kate and William playing in the snow. Photo credit -CBC

Kate and William playing in the snow. Photo credit -CBC

Prince William and his wife Kate took their children skiing in the French Alps.

Since their two infants have the best, warmest outer wear money can buy and a nice warm fire to cozy up to in the ski lodge, they had fun getting a little cold and wet, unlike the newborn baby living in a tent who has to be cleaned by cold water from a bottle over the muddy ground in Idomeni.

If you want to see more pictures of these rich assoles playing in the snow, you’ll have to find them yourself, because this is not news and I’m not going to link you to it.