If you think you or someone you love might have been duped, you can find the antidote here.

How to Raise a Happy, Healthy Child the Traditional Way

Posted by on 4:10 am in De-gullibilize | 1,259 comments

How to Raise a Happy, Healthy Child the Traditional Way

hungry-children-in-africaJust look at these lucky little ankle-biters. Life for them is naturally what every parent in the west wants for their child:

  • No Vaccinations
  • No GMOs
  • No gluten
  • No refined sugars
  • No dangerous-sounding chemicals
  • Only pure and natural medicines derived from plants


Lose Pounds and Inches with the Bandwagon Diet!

Posted by on 9:52 am in De-gullibilize | 97 comments

Lose Pounds and Inches with the Bandwagon Diet!

The latest diet craze to hit bookstores is THE BANDWAGON DIET!

How does this amazing diet help you lose those ugly holiday inches from your waistline?

Easy – gullibility!

after the amazing Bandwagon Diet

After the amazing Bandwagon Diet



New Diet Craze Sweeps North America

THE BANDWAGON DIET works for everyone! Just look at these true testimonies from actual people:

I used to be fat, but now I’m skinny! Thanks, Bandwagon Diet! – Jimmy, Colorado

I watched the pounds melt away and now I am a size six; thanks to the amazing Bandwagon Diet! -Pamela, Arkansas

I used to waste my time eating healthy and exercising but never got the results I wanted. Now I am as scrawny as a supermodel! THE BANDWAGON DIET did it for me! –Lou-Ann, Sweden

THE BANDWAGON DIET worked for them, and it will work for you, too! How exactly does THE BANDWAGON DIET work? Just ask long-time BANDWAGON DIET enthusiast, Fanny Gumbo McKintire of Florida:

“When I was a kid, I counted calories with Weightwatchers and worked out with Richard Simmons. In the nineties, I cut out carbs, all carbs. The Atkins diet helped me get into my high-school jeans again! Then I reduced refined sugar and artificial colours, which meant no more double-doubles but bread was back on the table, yahoo! After that, I lost six pounds on the Paleo Diet, and then I learned that all my problems were directly caused by gluten. So bread is back, AGAIN, but this time it is gluten-free bread. By only buying products that have ‘gluten free’ written on their packages, I lost over two stone! Of course recently I have stopped eating anything that has any chemicals in it, especially GMOs and Monsanto, because those two are the most toxic chemicals ever invented. Right now I am in the process of suing my parents for getting me vaccinated, because I read on my Facebook feed that childhood vaccines may be linked to obesity.”

And that’s THE BANDWAGON DIET in a nutshell!

Find Out How You Can Get the Summer Bikini Figure You’ve Always Wanted!

For complete details, send Gullible Lives Matter your Visa or MasterCard info including billing address, expiry date, and secret code, and we’ll send you our shiny, hardcover book, THE BANDWAGON DIET really soon!

But wait, there’s more! If you act now, we’ll also throw in our patented calorie and GMO-free BANDWAGON DIET measuring cup!

What are you waiting for? Join the thousands of beautiful people and celebrities who have lost weight with THE BANDWAGON DIET!

Gluten is my Spirit Animal

Posted by on 11:18 pm in De-gullibilize | 126 comments

Gluten is my Spirit Animal
fat-free marshmallows

Marshmallows are made entirely of sugar. There’s no fat in ’em, nope.

Boy, did I crack up a few years ago when I went to the supermarket and found that marshmallows were labelled “fat free.”

“What?! Fat-free marshmallows!? Best day ever!” (nom nom nom)

(If you aren’t following, marshmallows are made of sugar. All sugar is fat-free. But that doesn’t mean porking out on a big bag of marshmallows is going to do any good for your weight-loss diet.)

But now when I go to the supermarket, everything is labelled “gluten free.”

Gluten is a protein found in some grains, including wheat, rye, and barley. It’s gluey and helps hold baked goods together, and helps give bread its chewy consistency. But unless you suffer from celiac disease, gluten can’t hurt you. In fact, if you cut gluten out of your diet, you’re going to miss out on a lot of valuable vitamins and minerals that whole-grain products provide, like B12 and iron.

gluten-free candy

Apparently, all this candy is gluten-free. BRING IT ON! Finally, someone has figured out what makes candy unhealthy and discovered a way to make candy without it!

About one in 133 people have celiac disease, a disease that causes a bad reaction to gluten. Symptoms of celiac disease include diarrhea, anemia, bone pain, and severe skin rash. My friend who  had celiac disease got so ill from the tiniest bit of gluten in his food that he couldn’t order deep-fried foods in restaurants because most restaurants deep-fry their wheat products, like perogies, onion rings, and hot apple pies, in the same oil they use for non-wheat items, like fries. If you have celiac disease, it’s a good idea to stay clear away from even the littlest bit of gluten.

However, if you don’t have celiac disease, and you’re just scared because you read on the internet that gluten will make you fat, you can put away your fears and hop off the bandwagon. Fat makes you fat. Sugar makes you fat. Eating too much and sitting around doing nothing makes you fat. If you reach for a gluten-free king-sized Snickers bar while marathoning Game of Thrones, you’re just making yourself fatter.

Maybe you think you have a sensitivity to gluten because you read a review of a book where some asshat badmouthed gluten and blamed everything from autism to arthritis on this protein. (“Wheat Belly” by William Davis, for example). So in the 80s, gluten didn’t hurt anyone except a few poor souls afflicted with celiac disease. In the 90s, everyone got all down on carbs, but gluten still wasn’t hurting folks. Suddenly, gluten is responsible for all these health problems and diseases. But I’m calling bullshit.

But don’t take my word for it. There’s a pretty clear discussion of gluten on WebMD (click here) and if you’re up for a pretty long article without very many pictures, check out “Against the Grain,” on The New Yorker.

If you really do think that gluten has been the source of all your problems all this time, maybe you ought to go to your GP and get tested. Otherwise, if you’ve read this far, you deserve to be privy to my…

Weight Loss Secret

For one day and one day only:

This is it, folks. Only my very special fans who read entire posts without getting confused and clicking away deserve to know this one amazing trick to help you lose weight and keep it off. This one shocking secret to a longer, better life. This little-known method to improving your general health and wellness: keeping your heart healthy, having radiant skin, sleeping better at night… are you ready for this?

Grab a pen and paper and get ready to jot this down…

Here it is…

My surprising secret to living longer healthier, and slimmer:






So complicated. Well, you know what, I think if I stretch that out to a 200-page how-to book, I might finally get the recognition and money I deserve. So, TTFN, I’m off to put pen to paper and become a self-made millionaire!

The Future for USAmerica – GLM’s Exclusive Interview with Eminent Psychic Lady Bacilli

Posted by on 9:49 pm in De-gullibilize | 273 comments

The Future for USAmerica – GLM’s Exclusive Interview with Eminent Psychic Lady Bacilli

Last week, GLM was able to interview US America’s most prominent psychic, Lady Bacilli, who correctly predicted the end of the Gulf war and the rise to power of Barak Obama, about her visions for the future of the country. Read the complete transcript of our exclusive interview below.

GLM: On the telephone, you told us that you had received a series of visions of events that you predict will occur next year.

Lady Bacilli: That’s correct. I gave you a reduced rate on the telephone call, too.

GLM: Yes, thank you. We appreciate that.

Lady Bacilli: Don’t forget the banner ad we discussed.

GLM: Absolutely. Now, could you tell us some of the highlights of these visions?

crystal ball trumpLady Bacilli: Of course. I’ve actually got my crystal ball here, so I’m going to go through the series of visions again so as not to leave out any details. First, I see Donald Trump becoming president.

GLM: Oh dear.

Lady Bacilli: And now I see him ordering construction of the wall along the Mexican-US border. Now he outlaws any immigration into the USA, and is ordering the erection of a wall along the coast of the Pacific Ocean and along the coast of the Atlantic Ocean.

crystal ball wallGLM: Wow.

Lady Bacilli: Now there are some Americans leaving, and immigrating to Canada. They have student loans, and Trump doesn’t want them defaulting on their loan payments, so he is building a wall along the American-Canadian border.

GLM: To keep them in.

Lady Bacilli: That’s right.

GLM: So there’s actually a wall completely enclosing the USA?

crystal ball floodLady Bacilli: Completely enclosing it, yes. Now I see a, something like a halo, around Trump’s head. Like a… like an aura. He’s magnificent. His holiness is solving all the problems in the USA. The drought in California: it’s raining! Hallelujah, it’s raining in California!

GLM: Wow!

Lady Bacilli: It’s raining and raining… it’s been raining for 40 days and 40 nights in California. The country… oh, my God, the country is flooding! The Great Wall of Donald is acting like a dam, and holding all that water in! America is flooding!

GLM: Geez, that’s…

crystal ball ladderLady Bacilli: I see the POTUS and his team beginning work on an ark of some sort. Oh, there, in the north of the country, a group of immigrant 7-Eleven employees are gathering, among them some of America’s greatest minds: doctors, architects, engineers… wait, they’re building something! They’re building a ladder, and they’re climbing over the wall to Canada!

GLM: They escaped the flood!

Lady Bacilli: Yes, and they reach Canada and create a website called It has a map and instructions for how to get to their ladder. The one percent of the American population who has higher than grade five reading skills is able to decipher the instructions and find the ladder. They’re escaping too!crystal ball escape

GLM: That’s great!

Lady Bacilli: A handsome Francophone with great hair and a nice suit is welcoming them on the other side of the wall. He’s offering to give them all money and…

I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cut this short. My other line is going to ring.

crystal ball trudeauGLM: No problem. Thank you so much, Lady Bacilli, for taking the time to… oh, she’s gone.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The definitive prediction of the future for the United States of America.

If you have any other predictions, please let us know in the comments below:

Cheeky Child Genius Explains Link between Vaccines and Autism

Posted by on 4:10 pm in De-gullibilize | 3 comments

Cheeky Child Genius Explains Link between Vaccines and Autism
marco arturo vaccines cause autism evidence

Marco Arturo displays all the evidence he could gather proving that vaccines cause autism

A twelve-year-old boy in Mexico named Marco Arturo puts loudmouthed anti-vac bandwagon jumpers to shame by revealing all the information he can find linking vaccines to autism in this clever video:

“So please, vaccinate your children. It’s also everyone else’s child you’re putting in danger because you read some forwarded email.”

Are you an anti-vac bandwagon jumper? Then GLM challenges you to find some actual, scientific, peer-reviewed evidence and make a video response to Marco, and keep in mind that your hero, Andrew Wakefield, was stripped of his license to practice medicine so what he says is NOT valid evidence.

If you can come up with something, add a link in our comment section. Come on, kitchen-table scientists, let’s see what you’ve got – can you outsmart a twelve-year-old kid?

WARNING! Research Finds that Chemicals are Everywhere!

Posted by on 10:51 pm in De-gullibilize | 363 comments

WARNING! Research Finds that Chemicals are Everywhere!

There was a time, long ago, when there were no chemicals anywhere. Everything was natural. That’s what old people tell us, and middle-class uneducated housewives know it by instinct. But new research shows that today, we are surrounded by nasty, horrible, cancer-causing CHEMICALS!

Dihydrogen Monoxide

dihydrogen monoxide chemica structure

Dihydrogen monoxide chemical structure

This chemical appears to be everywhere, even in our own bodies. It has the low melting point of only zero degrees and can dissolve nearly anything! Dihydrogen monoxide can be found in your shower, toilets, and other taps, and it cannot be filtered out of water. Even the most expensive store-bought natural, organic bottled water is found to contain dihydrogen monoxide.

Chemicals in the Air

Just some of the chemicals found in the air

Just some of the chemicals found in the air

The air we breathe is apparently filled with diatomic gasses: nitrogen, oxygen, and argon, to name a few. These gasses are colorless, odorless, and tasteless, but they can be dangerously inert.  The best way to avoid breathing in these chemicals is to wear a dust mask and/or not breathe.

Diagram of what the air looks like up close

Diagram of what the air looks like up close

Really Big Molecules

Close-up of a molecule of deoxyribonucleic acid. Just look at all those atoms, and this is only a small part of one molecule!

Close-up of a molecule of deoxyribonucleic acid. Just look at all those atoms, and this is only a small part of one molecule!

If the size of a molecule is any indication of its degree of danger, then you’ll be shocked to know that massive molecules are embedded in every cell in your body! Deoxyribonucleic acid occurs in multitudes in each and every one of your cells, and the average deoxyribonucleic acid molecule is made up of thousands of atoms. THOUSANDS! This is a kind of ACID, like floor stripper or hydrofluoric acid, but located INSIDE your cells! The scariest thing about deoxyribonucleic acid is that it can replicate automatically. The only way to fight this horror is by swallowing a lot of baking soda or other natural, organic antacids.

Chemical structure of ONE ONETHOUSANTH of a normal deoxyribonucleic acid molecule!

Chemical structure of ONE ONE-MILLIONTH of a normal deoxyribonucleic acid molecule!

DIY 100% Natural, Chemical-Free Cleaning Products for your Entire Home and Family

Posted by on 3:14 pm in De-gullibilize | 186 comments

DIY 100% Natural, Chemical-Free Cleaning Products for your Entire Home and Family

If you love nature and want to keep your home and family clean, you probably want to use natural cleaners. You know that Windex and other store-bought cleaners are filled with horrifying CHEMICALS, but what are the alternatives? What can you use to keep everything sparkling clean without toxifying your atmosphere and causing cancer in all your pets and family members?

Luckily for you, God gave us a lot of natural, chemical-free cleaning products and you can find them all in your own home and back yard!


Worms love dirt and worms are part of nature, so you know it's good. Image credit - Scotts

Worms love dirt and worms are part of nature, so you know it’s good. Image credit –

Dirt comes from nature and therefore is guaranteed chemical-free. Squirrels and other rodents bathe in dirt, and worms even eat it with no adverse effects. Dirt is a great natural scrubber for your floors. Simply bring in a couple of bucketfuls of dirt from your garden and use a large, natural-bristled brush to scrub your floors with. This is the way the women scrubbed floors as recently as Ancient Roman times, and it still works great! After scrubbing, simply sweep up the dirt with a twig broom and return it to the garden. Make sure to clean your hands with chemical-free hand sanitizer after scrubbing your floors with dirt in case any rodents have left their droppings behind whilst bathing, as rodent droppings can carry viruses such as hantavirus.



You already know that foods such as vinegar and baking soda are nature’s cleansers. Use vinegar diluted in bottled drinking water to clean your counter-tops, bathroom fixtures, mirrors, and windows, and use apple-cider vinegar on a 100%-natural cotton pad instead of soap to clean your skin. Baking soda is abrasive and can be used to scrub off stains and soap scum. Mix baking soda with artisan beer and guacamole to make a fantastic two-in-one shampoo/conditioner!

beer-baking-soda-guacamole shampoo - photo credit leelabean bakes

Beer-baking-soda-guacamole shampoo – photo credit Leelabean Bakes

Green tea is antiseptic. Brew a pot of green tea, let it cool down, fill your spray bottles, and spray it everywhere instead of Lysol.

Toilets getting stained? Dump a packet of blue Kool-Aid into the tank every time you flush. It turns your toilet water blue and smells great; no need for those nasty blue pucks of chemicals.

Coconut is one of nature’s greatest cleansers; that’s why so many cleaning products are coconut-scented. To make a chemical-free, natural coconut all-purpose cleanser, buy two whole or one bag of shredded coconuts. If you start with whole coconuts, you will have to crack them open. Use a hammer and chisel like our Hawaiian neighbours have always done! Boil the coconut halves or shredded coconut (remove it from the bag first) in bottled water for about 20 minutes. Strain and let the water cool. This coconut water can be used for floors, walls, dusting, laundry, and as a facial cleanser.

Orange and other citrus peels make excellent cleaners for your whole house, too, which is why you can find pretty much any store-bought cleaning product available in lemon scent. Use chemical-free, organic oranges grown in your own back yard (transporting fruits from another location can allow them to come into contact with dangerous chemicals such as vehicle exhaust or Freon in refrigerated trucks.) When you peel the oranges, instead of throwing away the peel, chop it up and boil it in bottled water for twenty minutes. Strain the peel out of the water and let it cool. You can use this citrus-peel infused water for washing dishes, surfaces, floors, walls, pet products, and the baby.


Detergent, softener, bleach, dryer sheets – just think about all the chemical-laden products you put in the washing machine with your clothes! Your clothes will touch your skin, and should be washed without chemicals to avoid getting cancer or autism from putting them on. Instead of all these harsh chemicals, try putting the following into your wash:

  • 1 chopped lemon to clean out grease and oil
  • a handful of uncooked rice to soften
  • a pinch of blue Kool-Aid to make the whites pop
  • add a few Earl Gray teabags into the dryer to reduce static

Guaranteed, your washing will come out clean, great-smelling, and free of chemicals!

Washing clothes in the river is fun and natural. That's why so many people do it in countries all around the world. Photo credit

Washing clothes in the river is fun and natural. That’s why so many people do it in countries all around the world. Photo credit: Radio Ucamara

Of course, the best and most natural way to wash clothes, towels, bedding, etc. is the old-fashioned way, because stuff was better in the past. Like our ancestors did, you can take your laundry to the nearest river or creek and wash it in the clear, clean chemical-free H2O running there. Beat your laundry with river rocks or rub it against an immersed boulder to get stains out, and spread it over bushes or low tree branches to dry in the sun. If you don’t have a river or stream in your area, you can fast-forward a few thousand years or so. Wash your clothes in a bucket in the back yard with a washboard and hang them on a clothes-line to dry. This is still an old-fashioned way to do laundry and therefore better.



WARNING: NEVER mix any of these products together. If you mix natural things together, you end up with chemicals, and that’s exactly what we’re trying to avoid.


DIY Homeopathic Cures for Three Top Health Concerns

Posted by on 4:15 pm in De-gullibilize | 2,676 comments

DIY Homeopathic Cures for Three Top Health Concerns

The underlying causes of disease, called “miasms,” can be addressed via homeopathic preparations. As every doctor knows, like cures like, so the basic tenet of homeopathy is to give the patient a preparation of a highly diluted — the more diluted the more potent — disease- or illness-causing substance which has been bashed against an elastic material such as a leather-bound book or a saddle.

Homeopathic preparation Rhus toxicodendron, derived from poison ivy. photo credit wikipedia

Homeopathic preparation Rhus toxicodendron, derived from poison ivy. photo credit wikipedia

mortar and pestle used for grinding insoluble solids, such as platinum, into homeopathic preparations. Photo credit - wikipedia

Mortar and pestle used for grinding insoluble solids, such as platinum, into homeopathic preparations. Photo credit – wikipedia













Today Gullible Lives Matter is pleased to bring you DIY homeopathy: three common health issues actually have surprisingly simple cures that you can make in your own home!

A large, leather-bound family Bible such as this one is perfect for smacking your homemade homeopathic remedies against. Photo credit - JFK Library

A large, leather-bound family Bible such as this one is perfect for smacking your homemade homeopathic remedies against. Photo credit – JFK Library


A cup of coffee, used for curing insomnia. Photo credit - Daily Mail UK

A cup of coffee, used for curing insomnia. Photo credit – Daily Mail UK

Can’t sleep? Use our homeopathic method of getting a trace amount of caffeine into your system. You’ll be sleeping like a baby! Dilute one cup of black, medium-brew coffee in a mid-sized lake. Give the caffeine about a week to fully diffuse into the lake. This dilution is precisely equal to 30C. One teaspoon of lake water, if bashed against a large leather-bound book such as a family Bible, should knock you right out!

Heart disease:

natrum muriaticum, a potent homeopathic substance. Photo credit - bravefrontierglobal

Natrum muriaticum, a potent homeopathic substance. Photo credit – bravefrontierglobal

Salt is known to lead to heart disease because it causes hardening of the arteries. To cure heart disease, take one crystal of natrum muriaticum, or “table salt,” as it is less commonly known, and dissolve it in one jug of water. Make sure the crystal is completely dissolved. Go and dump the jug into your city or town’s water reservoir. Your tap water will now cure heart disease! Your city or town will thank you.


Since cigarette smoke is a well-known carcinogen, we can use it to make a homeopathic remedy guaranteed to cure cancer. Inhale the smoke from one normal or king-sized cigarette (not menthol, as the mentholatum may inadvertently cure some other disease instead of the cancer.) Blow the smoke from your lungs into a large bowl. The carcinogens from the smoke will stick to the inside of the bowl. Now, fill the bowl with water and dump it out. Repeat this process 29 more times, but the final time, do not dump out the water. Instead, use a measuring cup to remove 250 mL and pour it carefully into a medicine bottle. Make sure to label the bottle correctly as “Cure for Cancer: 30CK potency.” Take one drop every day in your coffee or tea until your cancer is cured.

Cigarette smoke can cure cancer. Photo credit -

Cigarette smoke can cure cancer. Photo credit –

Click here to read more about the wonders of homeopathy at Wikipedia! This article isn’t biased at all and will give you the straight truth about homeopathic medicine.

GMOs are the Devil! … or are they?

Posted by on 1:18 am in De-gullibilize | 178 comments

GMOs are the Devil! … or are they?

While Monsanto is the devil, and hating on them is perfectly healthy, Monsanto does not equal GMOs.

monsanto-the-devil livingorganic

picture credit:

To understand what I mean by this, you need to understand what is meant by GMO: Genetically Modified Organism. Let’s break it down. Genetically = genes (not jeans.) Modified = changed. Organism = living thing. The current trend is to fear foods that are ‘genetically modified’ because of science and other stuff you don’t understand, but there’s something you may not realize: genetic modification has been around since the beginning of agriculture. Nearly everything we eat today has changed genetically since it was first domesticated, some time in history.


Gregor Mendel loved God and researched the mechanism by which pea plants passed traits to subsequent generations. In other words, he genetically manipulated organisms. photo credit:

In fact, the mechanism by which organisms can be genetically modified, the allele, was discovered by a monk named Gregor Mendel.

A monk.

A guy who loves God and works for God.

Mendel discovered that by selective breeding, certain traits could be brought out in subsequent generations of pea plants. Was Mendel working for the devil? I highly doubt it. But he started the scientific journey that led to the ability scientists have today to work with genes.

But genetic modification through selective breeding was going on long before Mendel researched it. When humans first left their nomadic hunter-gatherer life and settled down to farm, they unwittingly began genetic modification of the foods they farmed by ‘weeding out’ the plants or animals with less desirable traits and taking seeds and offspring from plants and animals with desirable traits to raise the next generation.

Here are some examples of foods that have been genetically altered over thousands of generations of selective breeding. I’m comparing the foods we eat every day to their wild counterparts so you can see what a difference agriculture technology has made over the millennia. If you don’t think there is a genetic difference between the wild version and the farmed version, maybe you need to take a basic biology course and learn exactly what is meant by words like “gene” and “genome.”


This is a wild banana. All bananas looked like this before we domesticated them – thick peel; large, hard seeds.


Modern bananas are the result of at least 7000 years of selective breeding. Banana farmers bred for size, colour, and sweetness, and also produced infertile bananas without seeds for your eating pleasure. Obviously populations of seedless bananas can’t survive in the wild!


Corn has bred from this teosinte plant, first domesticated about 9000 years ago.


Modern corn is 6.6% sugar, compared to just 1.9% in its wild cousin. Corn has also been bred to be 1000 times bigger than it was originally, so it produces 1000 times more food per plant.


Carrots are roots, and before we modified them they looked like pretty much any other root you might see under a plant.


Modern carrots have been bred for colour, size, and smoothness. Even comparing supermarket carrots to farmers market carrots, you’ll notice the difference. That’s genes, baby!

So we have been genetically modifying the organisms we eat for thousands of years, but now we can do it in a lab, using a process that cuts out years of selective breeding.

The result, however, is exactly the same: an organism with a difference in its genes. Exactly the same result.

GMOs aren’t scary; they can’t cause cancer or other health problems; in fact, scientists can use the new technology to produce food that is hardier for our changing planet, healthier for our starving neighbours, and safer for you because it can be grown without pesticides or harsh chemical fertilizers. These are desirable traits that farmers have been selectively breeding for since the beginning of agriculture. The devil has nothing to do with it.

Unless otherwise indicated, all photos come from Business Insider’s Science page. Read their post to learn more about what your foods looked like before genetic modification.

To learn more about how modern cows were painstakingly domesticated from massive, frightening beasts called aurochs, read this.

Got milk? If you do, it came from a cute little moo-cow who has been bred to be docile and stupid, and keep producing milk its whole life without making babies. Weird! This animal could never survive in the wild, p.s. Photo credit:

This frightening creature, on the other hand, is a water buffalo, closest wild relative to our moo cow, and one of the most dangerous animals on the plains of Africa. She would never let you near her udder. Photo credit:

This frightening creature, on the other hand, is a water buffalo, a close wild relative to our moo-cow, and one of the most dangerous animals on the plains of Africa. She would never let you near her udder. Photo credit:


Mmm… bacon… unless you think this little piggy is too cute to eat. Photo credit: backtoearthfood.wordpress

Pumba here is a close wild relative to our domesticated pig. Does he look yummy? He’ll gore you if you try anything. Photo credit:


Alert: Cure for Cancer Swept under the Rug by Big Pharma!

Posted by on 5:35 pm in De-gullibilize | 144 comments

Alert: Cure for Cancer Swept under the Rug by Big Pharma!
cure for cancer conspiracy

Stupid cartoon generated by “Ken” of SfSBM on’s Build your own Meat.

Once a doctor discovered a cure for cancer, but Big Pharma companies immediately swooped down upon him. They tricked him and bought the cure, only to shelve it in the annals of Big Pharma archives. They even bought up all the patents so if anyone else tried to cure cancer, Big Pharma would stop them. Why? Because these companies make a lot more money off TREATING someone for several years while they suffer and wait to die than they would off a one-time CURE.

Sound legit?

It ain’t.

First off, although “Big Pharma” does fund medical research, there are lots of medical researchers out there who are funded by universities or charities. Do you think their backers would allow the result of decades of expensive research to be swept under the rug by profit-mongers?

Second, cancer don’t care. Those profit-mongers who supposedly hid the cure for cancer CAN ALSO GET CANCER. So can their moms and dads, spouses, lovers, and children. Do you really think that the entire board of every big-pharma company in the world would allow their loved-ones to suffer and die for money? And, they must be able to recognize that no matter how rich they get, they won’t be able to spend their moolah if they’re DEAD.

Third, money ain’t the only gain. Say you’re a PHD; you slaved in university for years and spent heaps on tuition and instead of making millions off plastic surgery, you’re in research. You discover the cure for cancer that everyone’s been searching for, raising funds for, and talking about since the ’50s. What’s your motivation? Cash? NO, IDIOT! It’s fame and prestige! The freakkin Nobel Prize! Oh, and the chance to cure millions, perhaps even someone you love. Rich CEO: “Hi, I’m Big Pharma. I’d like to buy your little project here for, oh, say, ten million dollars…” Soon-to-be Nobel Laureate: “Hmm, lessee here… NOPE!”

Fourth, there are actually countries outside your borders. That’s right. Your country might be controlled by the 1% of the population with all the $$$. He who has the gold makes the rules, right? But did you know, there are over 200 countries in the world, and they don’t all operate on a system of democratic capitalism! Not everyone can be bought, is all I’m saying.

cancer cure cover-up conpiracy tape-face idiot

Instead of putting tape all over your face, maybe you should try doing a little research, dipstick.

Still not convinced? Still think Granny would have been saved if it weren’t for the evil money-grubbing porkers of big pharma? Ready to read a pretty long article filled with complex sentences and big words? Find out five other reasons you’re wrong HERE and HERE.