DIY Homeopathic Cures for Three Top Health Concerns

Feb 27

The underlying causes of disease, called “miasms,” can be addressed via homeopathic preparations. As every doctor knows, like cures like, so the basic tenet of homeopathy is to give the patient a preparation of a highly diluted — the more diluted the more potent — disease- or illness-causing substance which has been bashed against an elastic material such as a leather-bound book or a saddle.

Homeopathic preparation Rhus toxicodendron, derived from poison ivy. photo credit wikipedia

Homeopathic preparation Rhus toxicodendron, derived from poison ivy. photo credit wikipedia

mortar and pestle used for grinding insoluble solids, such as platinum, into homeopathic preparations. Photo credit - wikipedia

Mortar and pestle used for grinding insoluble solids, such as platinum, into homeopathic preparations. Photo credit – wikipedia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today Gullible Lives Matter is pleased to bring you DIY homeopathy: three common health issues actually have surprisingly simple cures that you can make in your own home!

A large, leather-bound family Bible such as this one is perfect for smacking your homemade homeopathic remedies against. Photo credit - JFK Library

A large, leather-bound family Bible such as this one is perfect for smacking your homemade homeopathic remedies against. Photo credit – JFK Library

Insomnia:

A cup of coffee, used for curing insomnia. Photo credit - Daily Mail UK

A cup of coffee, used for curing insomnia. Photo credit – Daily Mail UK

Can’t sleep? Use our homeopathic method of getting a trace amount of caffeine into your system. You’ll be sleeping like a baby! Dilute one cup of black, medium-brew coffee in a mid-sized lake. Give the caffeine about a week to fully diffuse into the lake. This dilution is precisely equal to 30C. One teaspoon of lake water, if bashed against a large leather-bound book such as a family Bible, should knock you right out!

Heart disease:

natrum muriaticum, a potent homeopathic substance. Photo credit - bravefrontierglobal

Natrum muriaticum, a potent homeopathic substance. Photo credit – bravefrontierglobal

Salt is known to lead to heart disease because it causes hardening of the arteries. To cure heart disease, take one crystal of natrum muriaticum, or “table salt,” as it is less commonly known, and dissolve it in one jug of water. Make sure the crystal is completely dissolved. Go and dump the jug into your city or town’s water reservoir. Your tap water will now cure heart disease! Your city or town will thank you.

Cancer:

Since cigarette smoke is a well-known carcinogen, we can use it to make a homeopathic remedy guaranteed to cure cancer. Inhale the smoke from one normal or king-sized cigarette (not menthol, as the mentholatum may inadvertently cure some other disease instead of the cancer.) Blow the smoke from your lungs into a large bowl. The carcinogens from the smoke will stick to the inside of the bowl. Now, fill the bowl with water and dump it out. Repeat this process 29 more times, but the final time, do not dump out the water. Instead, use a measuring cup to remove 250 mL and pour it carefully into a medicine bottle. Make sure to label the bottle correctly as “Cure for Cancer: 30CK potency.” Take one drop every day in your coffee or tea until your cancer is cured.

Cigarette smoke can cure cancer. Photo credit - uhaweb.hartford.edu

Cigarette smoke can cure cancer. Photo credit – uhaweb.hartford.edu

Click here to read more about the wonders of homeopathy at Wikipedia! This article isn’t biased at all and will give you the straight truth about homeopathic medicine.

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